Oratio
The blog of the St Benedict Center, offering musings on all things spiritual formation and spiritual theology from an orthodox, biblical perspective
The blog of the St Benedict Center, offering musings on all things spiritual formation and spiritual theology from an orthodox, biblical perspective
Last summer I celebrated 15 years of pastoral ministry at my parish. Looking back on things that have sustained and strengthened me through those years, I notice that retreats have been both instrumental and vital, both for my own spiritual life and my spiritual leadership within a parish. I’ve attended silent retreats with others on a numerous occasions, but most of the retreats I take these days happen in complete solitude.
There’s one reason I prefer total solitude: rhythm. When my daily life has taken on arrhythmia, I need a restored rhythm for my soul. Read more
A reflection on 2 Maccabees 6…
Eleazar was in trouble. Eleazar was an old man, a scribe, a person who held a high position and was respected among the Jews. And, he was living at a time when ”the king sent an Athenian senator to compel the Jews to forsake the laws of their ancestors and no longer live by the laws of God…”(v1) Eleazar was being required to eat “swine’s flesh” upon threat of death.
Among the oppressors were those sympathetic to Eleazar. They encouraged him to stash a little of his own meat in his pockets and only pretend to eat the pork, but really eat his own meat. In this way he could avoid being executed. But Eleazar was a man of integrity.
After four weeks of teaching Anglican worship, I opened the floor for questions among our group. I expected questions on topics such as the liturgical calendar, the sign of the cross, and symbols in worship. Then I saw one more hand with a question, not about Anglican tradition, but about the heart. “How am I supposed to take communion on the days when I don’t feel anything?”
Asking that question took courage, and my sister articulated a question and experience for many believers. Is it dishonest to sing joyfully or pray holy words when you feel no emotion within?
Emotions are as predictable as the wind. The instability of one’s emotions raises the question of authentic worship. Can worship be authentic when you feel dead inside? Is it hypocritical to pray when you feel hollow within?
Read moreThere’s a refrain that persists throughout the forty days of Lent: ‘The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.’ Each morning, the Book of Common Prayer offers this sentence prior to the psalms to worship the Lord with psalms. These brief sentences, or preces, change with the liturgical seasons. When Easter Day arrives, there will be a new refrain for the new season. But for the season of Lent, this sentence means to shape heart, mind, and soul with the gentleness of God in the midst of our failures and sin.
Read moreSelf-care has become quite the buzzword in recent years, hasn’t it? In a culture where exhaustion and burnout have become commonplace, it’s encouraging that more people are recognizing their limits as human beings. Greater attention to the care of body, mind, soul, and spirit is well in order in our time. Unhealthy habits among adults has led to greater anxiety, stress, depression, and panic attacks. Those unhealthy habits have been passed down to younger generations, too. From 2008-2018, anxiety symptoms doubled among the population of 18-25 year olds. Self-care is a timely, needed intervention in the midst of these worrying patterns.
But what ought self-care to look like as a disciple of Jesus? How can self-care contribute to one’s spiritual formation and one’s calling to serve others in the Kingdom of God?
I do not like feeling confused.
So much in the world confuses me. If I listed the things I find confusing, it would take a lot of words and a lot of time. I find that exceedingly uncomfortable. Experiencing confusion makes me fearful and sad, even angry. Confusion can feel oppressive; it can chase me into a corner so that I feel desperate. I most definitely do not think of confusion as a positive thing, so you’ll understand my surprise when I came across the suggestion that confusion could be useful.
I was reading St. Gregory the Great’s The Book of Pastoral Rule when a phrase he used jumped out and slapped me in the face. St. Gregory referred to a “useful confusion,” and I got stuck.
Useful confusion. What?
Read moreThe daily office reading from the Old Testament today is Exodus 3, the story about Moses and the Burning Bush. I have read it many times, heard it many times, probably heard sermons preached about it many times. This morning I was struck by the wording, and I had to stop at the very beginning.
Moses, tending sheep for his father-in-law, Jethro, leads the sheep “beyond the wilderness.” And then he arrives at the “Mountain of God”.
Beyond the wilderness. That means he went into the wilderness and kept moving through it until he got beyond it and that is where God called him. The burning bush came beyond the wilderness.
Read more